The main reason to own one of these ultra small pistols is ease of carry. The only effective self defense weapon is the one you have, not the larger, better, more comfortable to shoot weapon that sits at home or in your safe. The P3AT is most definitely not a "range" gun and will certainly let you feel the recoil, but that is the trade off for such ease of carry with a reasonably effective caliber. That being said, some folks just have very large hands and cannot get a decent grip on the gun, and if this is the case, then it may not be the gun for you. My P3AT, while not the easiet shooting gun I own, works ok in my moderate sized hand, but I can see a larger hand having some difficulty. Still, with this gun there is no need for long, multi-hundred round range sessions. A box or two on reasonably frequent outings should be enough to keep in practice and keep wear and tear on the hand at an acceptable level for most. But if you cannot hold and hit with it effectively, then you may need to look elsewhere. Remember you aren't going to be shooting 20 or 30 rounds in a defensive situation, nor will you notice recoil, etc when under that kind of stress.
Jim R